i think i'm just fixated on the idea of you meeting someone that changes your ideas of friendship. or how you feel about it, yeah. i'm not saying i want someone to change *you*, just... there's gotta be somebody out there that can help you see for yourself that having people around that care about you isn't a bad thing. i mean really, i only ever had one friend growing up, but that was enough to clue me in on how much better things are when you have someone to share them with. i know we don't really talk about home, where you're from, but the idea of you not having a friend like that seriously eats at me. you might be an assassin and you might carry a lot of anger but that doesn't mean you don't deserve to be around people that make you happy or anything. i dunno. like i'm probably way off base here and you can get mad at me for thinking about it so much, but i really just want to know you're happy.
[there's a moment where he considers mentioning cathy or barry. but he knows that bringing up either of them isn't going to help his case. not when the two of them were fucking behind his back. (never mind that he knew and did fuck all to stop them). and the members of the fraternity- well, they're not an option. so instead, it's easier to just deny it all.]
i don't mean like.. content. or just okay. and i'm not saying i think you're miserable all the time or anything either. i dunno it's hard to explain. [ because a part of it is she sees a look in Wesley's eyes that she's never, ever seen in Charles'. they're completely different people, like she really doesn't remotely compare them anymore, but there's something much darker in Wesley's, like he's ready to be betrayed at any second. expects it. it drives her nuts ] although the way you react to me being affectionate is a pretty big sign. why won't you let me hug you!!!! [ because she can't handle this talk about friendship being so heavy ]
no but really, when i'm not happy i don't want anybody touching me at all ever i just wanna be left alone. i know i can't just walk up and ask a person 'hey why don't you like it when i link my arm with yours when we walk or if i give you a hug in greeting?' so i just kind of assume you're not used to it because you never had someone give that too you freely and hence! you might not be totally happy.
you do realize we're two completely different people, right? some people just don't like hugs and all that shit, and you've just got to deal with it cause that's not going to change
i know we're different but *you* know that's not my point. i'm only telling you why i think the things i think and feel the things i feel.
so you're telling me that i should just deal with the fact that someone i care about has no desire to experience anything remotely like affection, even from me, even though you know that's how *i* am as a person, and there's nothing i can do to change that?
how is sex okay but hugging's not? it's my understanding you need to get pretty close to someone physically to have sex with them. where's that line? just so we really are clear.
[ nOW SHE'S CURIOUS you brought this on yourself ]
oh. oh! no, i mean. i knew that. i don't- i usually just end up sparring instead. like you said before.
would it be a lost cause if i try to explain maybe hugging someone when you're just a little stressed is basically the same as ..fucking somebody when you're really stressed?
"it's my understanding you need to get pretty close to someone physically to have sex with them." doesn't sound like the voice of experience. besides, with xavier on your back all the time, i doubt you get the chance
i was being sarcastic! poking fun at the fact that you don't like physical affection but you enjoy sex. and Charles actually has no room to be on my back about that, so i'm pretty free to make any and all kinds of decisions in that department.
sounds to me like you haven't been fighting the right people
hey, that's fine. i don't think i really wanna fight with you, judging by the way you talk about it. sounds to me like it's probably lacking in all the fun ways. and what's the point of that?
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who says i'm not happy already?
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so not liking hugs means i'm not happy?
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i put a lot of thought into this don't be mad
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i didn't. so you've either got to deal with it or we'll just keep having this same conversation until we leave
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so you're telling me that i should just deal with the fact that someone i care about has no desire to experience anything remotely like affection, even from me, even though you know that's how *i* am as a person, and there's nothing i can do to change that?
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you have no idea how much you already do that i'd kick the shit out of someone else for even attempting
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( i hear you loud and clear wesley gibson, i won't push )
but i will tease you about it c:
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how is sex okay but hugging's not? it's my understanding you need to get pretty close to someone physically to have sex with them. where's that line? just so we really are clear.
[ nOW SHE'S CURIOUS you brought this on yourself ]
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[granted, he still hasn't had any in a long time. but he knows it's a good way to work out some frustrations]
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i'd show you but that'd be pretty fucking weird
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would it be a lost cause if i try to explain maybe hugging someone when you're just a little stressed is basically the same as ..fucking somebody when you're really stressed?
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[ LOL yes she does ]
like i said, i spar instead. i don't need to be angry to want to sleep with someone.
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fighting only gets you so far
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sounds to me like you haven't been fighting the right people
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