[ this would be Raven's face when she has no- idea how to talk her way out of something. it's kind of like she's forgot her lines in the middle of a play, spotlights blaring, her mouth open but nothing's coming out. her cheeks flood with a dark blush, especially once she makes the mistake of finally looking at Sirius ]
Yeah. Yeah, we're taking about Remus. Look, it wasn't- [ how can she explain this without explaining anything more than the bare minimum? ] We didn't mean for it to... happen. At first it was just a distraction? A reason for him to take off the mask. I just wanted him to take off the mask, you know? That's all. [ a little desperate there because oh my god why does she feel so guilty. probably because she still feels like she took advantage of Remus somehow. like the mask was like some mind-altering drug, and she just ignored that and- no, wait, stop. ] And then he was just- [ just what, what could you possibly say right now ] Have you ever had someone ..look at you like-? [ actually maybe let's not go there ] No. Um? It just sort of happened...
[...right. This is just-- a great deal at once. Because first it was only mask problems, and Sirius can handle that well enough--and then potential werewolf problems, but he's been dealing with furry little problems for some years now, so one more is disastrous, fucking miserable, but he can work it out, he can panic quietly to himself and work it out, and possibly stop Remus from drowning himself, because it's a horrible accident but not insurmountable, no matter the depths of his guilt--and those depths are nigh unfathomable, but Sirius can help with that, too, there's very little Sirius can't find ways to help with, even unwelcome ways--
Right so but why is the sticking point of this the thought of Remus willfully and possibly (almost certainly) sexily biting Raven. Is it just too weird to think of (bookish old Lupin! booksexual Lupin! doesn't even get nervous around girls because it's like he's above them on some enlightened plane), or is it some weird-- well, jealously isn't outside the realm of possibility here, because Sirius likes girls, all girls nearly, and Raven is interesting and blue and amusing and clever and sexy in her way and wow but this thought has gone on long enough, and Sirius blinks a few times to try to clear his head, and he's still holding her arm, and that scabby old bite is right there, which is what he really ought to be thinking of, bites and werewolves and Remus who is probably digging himself a spacehole to crawl into right now--and he is, he is absolutely thinking of Remus, except that also sort of makes him think of biting again and have you ever had someone look at you like, and yes, Sirius has, if he's finishing that question properly and Merlin's pants what is happening.]
So-- hang on, so you--snogged him, before he-- [Oh, well done, Black! That's all you can manage right now? Well done, well done!] --I mean, sorry--
Look, this is very weird. Sorry. Give me-- [He pinches the bridge of his nose. Focus focus focus.] Half a minute.
[ Raven's just watching him, because what else can she do? she's already rambled too much, obviously she's said more than enough. and for a moment there's that flight instinct again, I'msorryI'msorryI'msorry, that point where she runs because it's better than messing up her friendship further, hurting someone more, and- well, that's just dramatic, isn't it? he just looks.. confused, not hurt. not really. she refuses to read into it, not just yet. it's about the bite or the 'snogging' or both, and she doesn't want an exact reason, not just yet. but still, she has to force herself not to lift up on her toes and bolt, even while her nerves spark up - you ruined it, he's mad at you, you ruined it. ]
It was different. [ she's not sure if this will help, at all, or just make it worse, but she feels like she has to point it out ] When he had the mask on, it wasn't- him-him. Not when he kissed me, not when he bit me. I should have left before it- But. It's- It doesn't have to be weird. Right? [ the weird part for her is that she doesn't... regret going there to try and help him, it's not that. she's just mad at herself for getting bit. maybe she had control of the situation, maybe she didn't, but it ended badly and the blame is just as much on her as it is on Remus, she feels. ] Maybe the werewolf side of Remus is more willing to bite people than we realize, but our friend Remus, the real Remus, isn't like that. He has more control. [ unlike herself, apparently. wow she feels guilty, this is ridiculous. ] It's gonna be fine, Sirius. The bite, the- everything. We'll figure it out.
[It's more than a little stupid that she's the one reassuring him--just stupid enough to make him shove away all those idiotic thoughts. Get out of it, Black, and he does; he scratches at his nose with a scowl, and shakes his head, and--right right right right. So werewolf Remus snogs girls as well as bites them and tries to (tries to being the operative word here) (because she might not be a werewolf) (right) turn them.]
No. Yeah. I know--yeah, I know. That's not him. It's all-- [He waves his free hand around, an all-encompassing gesture.] --it's all the werewolfy bits, it makes him aggressive. [Moony bullies Padfoot around, so who's to say that Moony-as-a-human wouldn't snog girls?]
It was different, you're right. [And now he can look at her more firmly, and his grip on her arm shifts, finds her hand instead, and he squeezes it with a bracing and reassuring air.] It's not even for sure that it's going to do anything to you, right? So perhaps even the bite doesn't-- doesn't matter.
[...right so but Remus, that's really what's brought them together today, and Sirius' face screws up in a brief scowl again.] Have you spoken to him since?
[ the way that blush comes creeping back up on her cheeks after he says it makes him aggressive is probably telling, isn't it? damn. double damn. triple da- oh. now that he's looking at her, and holding her hand, it's easier to not be so distracted. it's actually pretty damn reassuring to finally hear someone else say it - that the bite might not matter - because Remus seemed so sure, so worried, and it was enough to make her a little more fearful of the worst than she'd like to be. but Sirius says it basically the same way she was thinking it, and she nodnodnods, wiggles her fingers a little bit so the handholding is more mutual. she's probably holding on a little tighter than she realizes, her nerves refocused now that they're talking about the bite again.
deep down, she's kind of really, really scared of being a werewolf. ]
I did, yeah. For a little bit. I texted him to ask about the full moon, in case something does happen. Which, apparently, it's in just a couple days, so. I'll know pretty soon. [ nervous laugh, you should maybe sound less nervous next time. ] There wasn't much to talk about after that, he just kept apologizing. Which I mean, obviously it's- I'm glad he's back to normal, but it's driving me crazy how guilty he feels over it. Like I'm some victim of this giant tragedy. [ she doesn't sound mad, or bitter, just a little confused. she has no idea how to handle this. ] I mean, I get it, it's scary. And I'm kinda scared, I am. I'm not gonna pretend I'm not. But at the same time, it just- I can't be mad at him for it. No matter which way I spin what happened in my head, I'm still not mad at him. I just don't know how to get him to believe that.
[The full moon is something to be nervous about, so he doesn't even bat an eye at her laugh. At home, the full moon is entirely different--it's like a little holiday sometimes--but here, there's added strangeness and stresses and dangers--and always the threat of Sirius' spells not being enough, and Padfoot not being enough--
Anyway. He manages a sad little smirk at the rest of it.]
It's something he never wanted to happen. I mean, obviously, but--Merlin. He goes on about it, he always has, how he never wanted to-- to bite anyone, ever. So that's it for him, then, he's done it. [What Remus is afraid of--they've sort of talked around this, ever since the "Marauders versus dungeon boggart" incident in fifth year. The full moon. The werewolf, prowling the grounds.] We just can't let him-- I dunno. We can't--
[He cuts off a moment, and rubs his hand over his mouth, hard, staring fixedly at the ground.]
When we were in fifth year, he nearly bit someone else. Because of me. There's this bastard, Snape--anyway, he went after Remus, which was my fault. And would have gotten him, but my best mate James saved Snape--stupid git--and... Anyway. Remus didn't bite him, but he could have, and he was miserable about it for weeks, he wouldn't even talk to me for a bit--anyway, so we can't let him obsess on it. Because he will, because that's what he does. No matter what the hell happens at the full moon.
[He glances back at her, then.]
D'you want-- I always stay with Remus, when he transforms. You could come as well, so you wouldn't be--y'know. Alone.
[ she keeps quiet during the whole story, watching him without staring, letting her fingers slide to loosely link with his instead of just letting go. she should have known it was more than just worrying about whether or not he changed it her, that it was a fear deeply rooted by now. she's still completely conflicted about it, mostly in that she really doesn't know what it means for her if she's been changed, if she transforms this week. Remus was right, the shock hadn't sunk in. but honestly, for the girl who's had blue skin and yellow eyes since she was six years old, the idea of being cursed, of being different, didn't scare her. the idea of being out of control was scary, but- well. no, it hadn't really sunk in yet.
still, that doesn't change the fact that she wants to make sure Remus doesn't let it eat at him. ]
I already told him I'm not going to let him shelf on the blame entirely on himself. If anything, maybe- You know, if I am ..a werewolf now, it could be a good thing. At the time, when it happened, he seemed... I dunno. It was odd. I think he was disappointed in himself for hurting me, but it was more than that. Maybe there's some sort of appeal to the werewolf side of him in having another werewolf around. Which I know there are other werewolves here, but not from your world, right? I dunno. [ Remus seemed... sad. when she protested. it was a weird thing to consider, but he wasn't just some evil monster when he bit her. there was so much more to it than that. ] Either way. I think I should stay apart from you two this first time. Just in case it turns out a little unpredictable. I'm still not sure how my mutation will mix with the transformation, is all. ..Plus, if it turns out I'm not a werewolf, I'd rather not be trapped in a room with you both during the whole thing, no offense.
-- Wait.
How is it you can be with him when he transforms? I thought...
[It makes since that she wouldn't want them around--if she is a werewolf, which she might not be--but if she is, then she's right to say that they ought to stay apart from one another, at least at first. Just so everyone can get sorted out. Werewolves don't typically go around in droves--
Packs, that's the wolf word for it, and the one that the other werewolves use. Mentioning them even in passing gets a little scowl on Sirius face, and he glances at the ground a moment. Other werewolves, what the hell does Remus want with other werewolves anyway? He has Marauders--or one Marauder, anyway, and a staunch dog companion Marauder at that, which means he's never alone at the full moon--and Sirius isn't a werewolf, yeah, but he works really hard to get it, to understand, and what he doesn't understand--well, it's not important. Or it is, but he's Remus' best mate here, he makes up for his lack of understanding with that. And if Raven is in fact a werewolf, will he end up being jealous of her as well?
But so none of that ends up mattering, because--
Oh, shit.]
Er-- yeah. I mean, I stay close, so when-- [Well done, Black. Nearly three years of keeping a secret and then you just blurt it out to a girl.] --when he transforms back--
[But what the hell is the point in lying. Sirius sighs, and pushes his other hand through his hair.] I can make it so I'm safe around him. Werewolves only go for humans, they aren't really interested in biting animals-- look, it's probably easier if I show you.
[ oh mY GOD SIRIUS BLACK YOU HAVE NEVER SEEN RAVEN'S FACE LIGHT UP THE WAY IT IS LIGHTING UP NOW ]
Yes, show me. Do it.
[ she lets her hand slip from his, rolls her sleeve down veryvery carefully back over her wrist, steps back a few paces. the whole thing, all very quick. she's even up on her toes again, but now it's in, well, complete and utter excitement ]
[He says it dryly.... but it probably really will be fun. There are some things in this life that Sirius Black is Very Fond Of, and not all of them can be enjoyed aboard the Tranquility. That is not the case with Padfoot. Without flying motorbikes or Quidditch or James Potter or Marauding, there is a least Padfoot.
So despite the situation, Sirius steps back and takes a breath, to concentrate.]
It's sort of ugly, mind--fair warning--
[But that's enough, and he throws himself into it then: the familiar shifting, bones cracking and loosening and changing and moving--and muscles reknitting, stronger--and itchy itchy itchy, hair that turns to fur, and the world shrinks and then grows larger, bursting up from the ground in an explosion of smells so strong they're like colours--
And then there's Padfoot, who gives himself a shake, and sneezes, once, his tail already starting in a wag.]
[ there's a second where she almost looks away, and she certainly winces at the sound of his shift, but- she can't not watch. it's everything she can't do, it's what her mutation is limited from. she's tried, actually did sort of try with Remus the other day, but it was never like that. his form doesn't flutter, it morphs. it grows and stretches and cracks. it's... brutal, in a way, but beautiful. and naturally, she's a bit jealous underneath all that admiration. if only- ]
Wow. Hi, sweetie. [ she's all smiles as she crouches down to get on his level, holds her hand out a bit for him. ] --Oh. I should have asked this before you changed, but. Can you still understand me?
[There are always a few dodgy moments after the initial transformation, where everything sorts itself out, where smells are too much and then perfectly in balance, and where the dog bits overcome everything else, where Sirius' tiny presence is drowned out by dog urges and interests and smells and scratches and things to pee on and people to sniff and lick and yes yes yes excitement yes, bouncy happy tail wagging this girl who is this girl, ooh this girl she smells interesting and when he licks her hand the taste is weird weird weird and he barks, happy, his back bowing, ready to play--
You git, thinks some boy's voice, somewhere, but Padfoot bowls over that for the moment, and rushes the girl, crowding close to her, winding around her and hitting her with his tail.]
I'm gonna go with no- [ because he's licking her hand and acting like they haven't been standing there talking all this time. this isn't Sirius demonstrating what he can do, it's- like, a real transformation. he's a dog. and Raven, by now, has ended up dropping back to sit down properly, curling up a bit as he makes his rounds. eventually she finds the courage to reach out and try to distract him from all the circling by scratching along his back, eventually ending up by the scruff of his neck. ] Eeeeasy. [ but she's still laughing, and it's really a wonder she isn't making babyfaces at him right now ]
[Stoppit stoppit stoppit, comes the vague order, but how can he stop? She likes him. He can tell she likes him.
Well, that bit is good, and that thought doesn't really make much sense to Padfoot, who only knows good and bad by wholes--but he's settling down now, he's coming together, and something of the nervy tension of being an excitable happy dog is lessening, which leaves Sirius a bit of command.
So Padfoot sinks down to sit--very close!--panting happily. He barks, once, and then again, and pats his paw against the floor. Sort of understands. Sort of! Can dogs communicate that? No, probably not, but then again it doesn't matter, she's petting him so whatever, the rest can go hang.]
[ the first bark - buh! - makes her jump, the second - shhshhshh - makes her look out and around, and she's sure there's really nobody back where they are, but really. if someone did find them right now? she has no idea what she would say. non. "I found him" definitely wouldn't work, and it's not like she could've hidden a dog away all this time. ohboy. she's still petting and scratching, right around where a collar might sit. ]
You are going to get us in trouble back here. [ she probably shouldn't sound amused, or look amused, huh ] But you'd probably enjoy that, wouldn't you? So funny, so funny.
[He leans into her hands, and regards her with eyes brimming with adoration. He would not enjoy trouble. He would enjoy more of this, please, and his tail thumps against the ground. Look how good a dog he is, yes? He is quiet. He is respectful, and attentive, and just sitting there, ooh, say good dog say good dog, and he makes the tiniest whine, too eager--]
This is insane, you realize. I'm giving my friend a scratch behind the ears. Still processing, pup. [ but she's starting to make those faces, you know, when your mouth starts puckering up a bit, like basically how you imagine your dog's face would look if he were human. ..wait. wait this is weird when she breaks it all down. ] You're being such a good boy though, yes you are- [ noOOO she's talking to him like a pet someone stop her ] -yes you are. I sure hope you don't remember any of this. Nope. Nnnnope.
[Yesssss yes yes yes yes. She read his mind. Good boy good boy good boy, his heart is practically singing, go-o-o-o-od boy, and his tail beats against the floor even harder and he twists to lick at her (which is also maybe a bit weird) (but once you've licked all your best mates and even a professor once--and not even as a dog that time!--then you sort of get over that small and petty weirdness. There's weirder things.
Though somewhere in the back of the dog's head, there's a smug smirky bit that is all Sirius, because he will unfortunately remember this. Sorry, Raven!]
[ spuh!!sputter!! Raven yelps in surprise, yes yelps because she wasn't prepared to be licked, sir, but then she's laughing in that way she does when... well, she doesn't care if people think she's a kid or something, because it's bright and probably too loud and bubbly and that's just how she laughs when she's having more fun than she was expecting to have. because, it's like. she's got this bite, right, and maybe her life's about to change again in some scary way she doesn't really understand, but she's got great friends, right? so. what's any of that matter? nothing the ship does to her can change that fact, not really.
it definitely doesn't change the fact that she's completely in awe of this transformation Sirius can pull off, wow ]
I suppose I should get off my lazy butt and play with you or something, hm? I've never explored the Gardens too much, though. Dunno how dog-friendly it is in there. Mmmaybe we should just stay here.
[Oh my God those are the magic words. Or well some of the magic words. Definitely a magic word, at least--play play play play play. There is no way they can just stay here! She's laughing, she's happy, he made her happy, and if she wants to play they're going to play!
So he twists away, bowing at her, his tail whipping at the air--and he barks, cheerfully, and waits for her to act!]
Aha. I see you understand play. [ which means she's finally getting up, dusting off the back of her jumpsuit once she's up on her feet again ] Well okay, fetch is out. You are not putting anything from this ship in your mouth, no, ew. So.. Hm. What are the odds you understand 'sit' and 'stay'? I could go hide in the Jungle? And then you have to find me. ..No really, you have to, I'll freak if I get lost in there. You just have to give me some time to hide, okay?
['Sit' and 'stay'. Padfoot is obedient when he chooses to be, and disobedient more often than not--but for girls that he likes, and for his own purposes, he is incredibly capable of sitting and staying.
It's almost immediately after she's made the suggestion that he crashes to the ground again, sitting quite forcefully. His tail still beats against the ground, but he stares up at her with incredible focus, his ears pricked and his eyes bright and every centimeter of him looking helpful and friendly and ready to come and find her and save her and rescue her from the jungle.
In case there's any question, he barks, once. Ready!]
Good boy. [ Raven's so proud, SO proud. excellent. okay. she takes a few steps away, looking back into the Jungle and hoping there aren't bugs bigger than her head in there or anything. but nah. someone would have said something by now if there were big scaries in there. right? right. ] Okay. Stay. I'll.. whistle when I've found a hiding spot, yeah. Right. Stay. [ she lifts up on her toes with a grin before she dashes off, straight into the thick of the plant life. luckily! she eventually finds a narrow little trail that winds around the trees and whatnot, and she follows that for a bit before breaking off of it again. and she's still fast even when she's dodging trees and hopping over plants, which is good, because she's not sure she trusts Sirius to stay still for very long. it's not until she finds a tree with a few low branches that she decides to stop, and she hasn't climbed trees since she was kinda really little, buuuut.
eventually she makes it up. not too high! the last thing she needs is to get stuck in a tree, wow. but her legs dangle over the sides of the brach and there's still about a six feet drop, so. yeah! this seems like a good hiding place.
once she catches her breath, she whistles as loudly as she can, peeking back the way she came from before scooting back on the branch until she can rest her back on the trunk of the tree. she's not toooo well hidden, her black jumpsuit against all the green moss, but maybe it'll be tricky. who knows. ]
[He tenses when she first moves off--almost ready to follow her, not content to wait, too eager to chase and to be with her and and and--
But stay, right, stay, and he sinks back, quivering, eyes following her for as long as he can.
Staying takes a great deal of willpower and focus, but he stays perfectly statue still, as if she's going to double back to check on him, as if she might know that he moved if he moves, and he can't move, not until--
THE WHISTLE and there it is, and with an eager bark, Padfoot springs to his feat and goes tearing off in the direction that Raven went. He can smell her, he can he can he can, even over all the good interesting weird wet green plant smells of the Garden around him, he can smell her still, and it's like a blue path, a Raven-path, almost as clearly as if it's marked out on the ground--there she went, and here, and turned, and no no no back back there, and he has to slow a little to sniff at the ground but--
But then it stops, suddenly, right in front of a tree, and there's no more smell but it's still here, and he twists around, his tail wagging hard, and he barks again. Where!, and when she doesn't answer he whines a little, and barks once more. Where where where!]
[ she has to press her mouth shut hard to avoid saying anything at first, wanting to see if he can find her up here, figure it out on his own. Raven knows hide and seek is supposed to be all about being such a good hider that the seeker never finds you, but she's always been one to get more excited at being found, at seeing the seeker ( it was honestly always Charles, he was the only kid she ever really played with ) rapidly approaching her spot. it always made her feel proud and relieved and, well, found. there isn't really anything wrong with being found, nope
Sirius whines and she can't help but 'aww' a little bit, even with her mouth shut still. oops. ]
It's okay, sweetie, I'm up here! [ ... what? he's a sweet dog. and now she's leaning forward, away from the trunk, so it's easier to spot her ] You found me!
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Yeah. Yeah, we're taking about Remus. Look, it wasn't- [ how can she explain this without explaining anything more than the bare minimum? ] We didn't mean for it to... happen. At first it was just a distraction? A reason for him to take off the mask. I just wanted him to take off the mask, you know? That's all. [ a little desperate there because oh my god why does she feel so guilty. probably because she still feels like she took advantage of Remus somehow. like the mask was like some mind-altering drug, and she just ignored that and- no, wait, stop. ] And then he was just- [ just what, what could you possibly say right now ] Have you ever had someone ..look at you like-? [ actually maybe let's not go there ] No. Um? It just sort of happened...
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Right so but why is the sticking point of this the thought of Remus willfully and possibly (almost certainly) sexily biting Raven. Is it just too weird to think of (bookish old Lupin! booksexual Lupin! doesn't even get nervous around girls because it's like he's above them on some enlightened plane), or is it some weird-- well, jealously isn't outside the realm of possibility here, because Sirius likes girls, all girls nearly, and Raven is interesting and blue and amusing and clever and sexy in her way and wow but this thought has gone on long enough, and Sirius blinks a few times to try to clear his head, and he's still holding her arm, and that scabby old bite is right there, which is what he really ought to be thinking of, bites and werewolves and Remus who is probably digging himself a spacehole to crawl into right now--and he is, he is absolutely thinking of Remus, except that also sort of makes him think of biting again and have you ever had someone look at you like, and yes, Sirius has, if he's finishing that question properly and Merlin's pants what is happening.]
So-- hang on, so you--snogged him, before he-- [Oh, well done, Black! That's all you can manage right now? Well done, well done!] --I mean, sorry--
Look, this is very weird. Sorry. Give me-- [He pinches the bridge of his nose. Focus focus focus.] Half a minute.
no subject
It was different. [ she's not sure if this will help, at all, or just make it worse, but she feels like she has to point it out ] When he had the mask on, it wasn't- him-him. Not when he kissed me, not when he bit me. I should have left before it- But. It's- It doesn't have to be weird. Right? [ the weird part for her is that she doesn't... regret going there to try and help him, it's not that. she's just mad at herself for getting bit. maybe she had control of the situation, maybe she didn't, but it ended badly and the blame is just as much on her as it is on Remus, she feels. ] Maybe the werewolf side of Remus is more willing to bite people than we realize, but our friend Remus, the real Remus, isn't like that. He has more control. [ unlike herself, apparently. wow she feels guilty, this is ridiculous. ] It's gonna be fine, Sirius. The bite, the- everything. We'll figure it out.
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No. Yeah. I know--yeah, I know. That's not him. It's all-- [He waves his free hand around, an all-encompassing gesture.] --it's all the werewolfy bits, it makes him aggressive. [Moony bullies Padfoot around, so who's to say that Moony-as-a-human wouldn't snog girls?]
It was different, you're right. [And now he can look at her more firmly, and his grip on her arm shifts, finds her hand instead, and he squeezes it with a bracing and reassuring air.] It's not even for sure that it's going to do anything to you, right? So perhaps even the bite doesn't-- doesn't matter.
[...right so but Remus, that's really what's brought them together today, and Sirius' face screws up in a brief scowl again.] Have you spoken to him since?
no subject
deep down, she's kind of really, really scared of being a werewolf. ]
I did, yeah. For a little bit. I texted him to ask about the full moon, in case something does happen. Which, apparently, it's in just a couple days, so. I'll know pretty soon. [ nervous laugh, you should maybe sound less nervous next time. ] There wasn't much to talk about after that, he just kept apologizing. Which I mean, obviously it's- I'm glad he's back to normal, but it's driving me crazy how guilty he feels over it. Like I'm some victim of this giant tragedy. [ she doesn't sound mad, or bitter, just a little confused. she has no idea how to handle this. ] I mean, I get it, it's scary. And I'm kinda scared, I am. I'm not gonna pretend I'm not. But at the same time, it just- I can't be mad at him for it. No matter which way I spin what happened in my head, I'm still not mad at him. I just don't know how to get him to believe that.
no subject
Anyway. He manages a sad little smirk at the rest of it.]
It's something he never wanted to happen. I mean, obviously, but--Merlin. He goes on about it, he always has, how he never wanted to-- to bite anyone, ever. So that's it for him, then, he's done it. [What Remus is afraid of--they've sort of talked around this, ever since the "Marauders versus dungeon boggart" incident in fifth year. The full moon. The werewolf, prowling the grounds.] We just can't let him-- I dunno. We can't--
[He cuts off a moment, and rubs his hand over his mouth, hard, staring fixedly at the ground.]
When we were in fifth year, he nearly bit someone else. Because of me. There's this bastard, Snape--anyway, he went after Remus, which was my fault. And would have gotten him, but my best mate James saved Snape--stupid git--and... Anyway. Remus didn't bite him, but he could have, and he was miserable about it for weeks, he wouldn't even talk to me for a bit--anyway, so we can't let him obsess on it. Because he will, because that's what he does. No matter what the hell happens at the full moon.
[He glances back at her, then.]
D'you want-- I always stay with Remus, when he transforms. You could come as well, so you wouldn't be--y'know. Alone.
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still, that doesn't change the fact that she wants to make sure Remus doesn't let it eat at him. ]
I already told him I'm not going to let him shelf on the blame entirely on himself. If anything, maybe- You know, if I am ..a werewolf now, it could be a good thing. At the time, when it happened, he seemed... I dunno. It was odd. I think he was disappointed in himself for hurting me, but it was more than that. Maybe there's some sort of appeal to the werewolf side of him in having another werewolf around. Which I know there are other werewolves here, but not from your world, right? I dunno. [ Remus seemed... sad. when she protested. it was a weird thing to consider, but he wasn't just some evil monster when he bit her. there was so much more to it than that. ] Either way. I think I should stay apart from you two this first time. Just in case it turns out a little unpredictable. I'm still not sure how my mutation will mix with the transformation, is all. ..Plus, if it turns out I'm not a werewolf, I'd rather not be trapped in a room with you both during the whole thing, no offense.
-- Wait.
How is it you can be with him when he transforms? I thought...
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Packs, that's the wolf word for it, and the one that the other werewolves use. Mentioning them even in passing gets a little scowl on Sirius face, and he glances at the ground a moment. Other werewolves, what the hell does Remus want with other werewolves anyway? He has Marauders--or one Marauder, anyway, and a staunch dog companion Marauder at that, which means he's never alone at the full moon--and Sirius isn't a werewolf, yeah, but he works really hard to get it, to understand, and what he doesn't understand--well, it's not important. Or it is, but he's Remus' best mate here, he makes up for his lack of understanding with that. And if Raven is in fact a werewolf, will he end up being jealous of her as well?
But so none of that ends up mattering, because--
Oh, shit.]
Er-- yeah. I mean, I stay close, so when-- [Well done, Black. Nearly three years of keeping a secret and then you just blurt it out to a girl.] --when he transforms back--
[But what the hell is the point in lying. Sirius sighs, and pushes his other hand through his hair.] I can make it so I'm safe around him. Werewolves only go for humans, they aren't really interested in biting animals-- look, it's probably easier if I show you.
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[ oh mY GOD SIRIUS BLACK YOU HAVE NEVER SEEN RAVEN'S FACE LIGHT UP THE WAY IT IS LIGHTING UP NOW ]
Yes, show me. Do it.
[ she lets her hand slip from his, rolls her sleeve down veryvery carefully back over her wrist, steps back a few paces. the whole thing, all very quick. she's even up on her toes again, but now it's in, well, complete and utter excitement ]
No pressure. It'll be fun.
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[He says it dryly.... but it probably really will be fun. There are some things in this life that Sirius Black is Very Fond Of, and not all of them can be enjoyed aboard the Tranquility. That is not the case with Padfoot. Without flying motorbikes or Quidditch or James Potter or Marauding, there is a least Padfoot.
So despite the situation, Sirius steps back and takes a breath, to concentrate.]
It's sort of ugly, mind--fair warning--
[But that's enough, and he throws himself into it then: the familiar shifting, bones cracking and loosening and changing and moving--and muscles reknitting, stronger--and itchy itchy itchy, hair that turns to fur, and the world shrinks and then grows larger, bursting up from the ground in an explosion of smells so strong they're like colours--
And then there's Padfoot, who gives himself a shake, and sneezes, once, his tail already starting in a wag.]
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Wow. Hi, sweetie. [ she's all smiles as she crouches down to get on his level, holds her hand out a bit for him. ] --Oh. I should have asked this before you changed, but. Can you still understand me?
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You git, thinks some boy's voice, somewhere, but Padfoot bowls over that for the moment, and rushes the girl, crowding close to her, winding around her and hitting her with his tail.]
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Well, that bit is good, and that thought doesn't really make much sense to Padfoot, who only knows good and bad by wholes--but he's settling down now, he's coming together, and something of the nervy tension of being an excitable happy dog is lessening, which leaves Sirius a bit of command.
So Padfoot sinks down to sit--very close!--panting happily. He barks, once, and then again, and pats his paw against the floor. Sort of understands. Sort of! Can dogs communicate that? No, probably not, but then again it doesn't matter, she's petting him so whatever, the rest can go hang.]
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You are going to get us in trouble back here. [ she probably shouldn't sound amused, or look amused, huh ] But you'd probably enjoy that, wouldn't you? So funny, so funny.
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OOPS I swear I replied to this....
Though somewhere in the back of the dog's head, there's a smug smirky bit that is all Sirius, because he will unfortunately remember this. Sorry, Raven!]
all goooood
it definitely doesn't change the fact that she's completely in awe of this transformation Sirius can pull off, wow ]
I suppose I should get off my lazy butt and play with you or something, hm? I've never explored the Gardens too much, though. Dunno how dog-friendly it is in there. Mmmaybe we should just stay here.
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So he twists away, bowing at her, his tail whipping at the air--and he barks, cheerfully, and waits for her to act!]
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It's almost immediately after she's made the suggestion that he crashes to the ground again, sitting quite forcefully. His tail still beats against the ground, but he stares up at her with incredible focus, his ears pricked and his eyes bright and every centimeter of him looking helpful and friendly and ready to come and find her and save her and rescue her from the jungle.
In case there's any question, he barks, once. Ready!]
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eventually she makes it up. not too high! the last thing she needs is to get stuck in a tree, wow. but her legs dangle over the sides of the brach and there's still about a six feet drop, so. yeah! this seems like a good hiding place.
once she catches her breath, she whistles as loudly as she can, peeking back the way she came from before scooting back on the branch until she can rest her back on the trunk of the tree. she's not toooo well hidden, her black jumpsuit against all the green moss, but maybe it'll be tricky. who knows. ]
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But stay, right, stay, and he sinks back, quivering, eyes following her for as long as he can.
Staying takes a great deal of willpower and focus, but he stays perfectly statue still, as if she's going to double back to check on him, as if she might know that he moved if he moves, and he can't move, not until--
THE WHISTLE and there it is, and with an eager bark, Padfoot springs to his feat and goes tearing off in the direction that Raven went. He can smell her, he can he can he can, even over all the good interesting weird wet green plant smells of the Garden around him, he can smell her still, and it's like a blue path, a Raven-path, almost as clearly as if it's marked out on the ground--there she went, and here, and turned, and no no no back back there, and he has to slow a little to sniff at the ground but--
But then it stops, suddenly, right in front of a tree, and there's no more smell but it's still here, and he twists around, his tail wagging hard, and he barks again. Where!, and when she doesn't answer he whines a little, and barks once more. Where where where!]
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Sirius whines and she can't help but 'aww' a little bit, even with her mouth shut still. oops. ]
It's okay, sweetie, I'm up here! [ ... what? he's a sweet dog. and now she's leaning forward, away from the trunk, so it's easier to spot her ] You found me!
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