[ no she doesn't want anyone to see her change, not anymore. not like she used to. it's different now, a painful reminder of how she messed herself up. she shakes her head first, though her fingers pause at the panel, leaving the door shut and locked. it's weird, she hadn't really thought about her shifting being more like Remus' transformation now, mostly because the bite, that scar on her arm, was reminder enough. a sign that no, she wasn't like him, her mutation didn't allow it. but maybe it wouldn't be so scary or embarrassing, in this case, having him here with her. maybe it would help.
so when she turns around she just nods and takes a few steps closer to him, tears already welling up in her eyes because they hurt, they burn, and they start to change back to gold before the rest of her starts to shift. it's backwards than changing from blue to a shift, so it starts with her eyes, then her hair starts to turn dark, only that kind of hurts too, like someone's yanking the blonde away. she drops to her knees before the pain forces her too, whining louder than she would like to, but it's painful. pale skin starts to tear and peel away instead of fluttering, stretches and reshapes, darkens like a bruise until she's blue again. the worst of it, the part that makes her shout and bow her back, tight, bringing her closer to the floor, is the way her bones shift under her skin from her feet up and out into her hands, muscle and sinew realigning with it. like her body is a piece of machinery checking that all the gears are in place. it feels unnatural, and forced, and she's still not used to it. ]
[He drops to his knees with her, taking her shoulders gently. There's nothing he can do, not really, just like there's nothing James or Sirius can do-- but it helps to have someone even there, he remembers that, and so he keeps talking, trying to keep her distracted from her pain.]
It's all right, it's all right-- I'm here, darling, I'm right here, you're okay, you're going to be okay, I promise you--
[ it does help, oddly, hearing his voice, feeling him right there. like she isn't stuck somewhere inbetween shifts, stuck in her head somehow. her eyes are still shut tight, but it's not like she has to be looking to feel the full comfort of having him there with her. her hands ball up tight then rest flat against the floor, whines turning into quiet hums between breaths even after the shift is over, because it takes a while for her body to adjust back, for the soreness to subside and for everything to go back to normal.
and now all she wants to do is curl up right there on the floor, rest her head on his lap and not move for a while, but. no. the bed's right there. she can make it to the bed. ugh, shifting is exhausting. ]
S'done. [ right, should probably let him know she's not about to break out yelling again. she sits up, a little bit, enough to rest her cheek against his shoulder for a second, leaning on him for more than just the physical support ]
[ she makes a little sound of protest, picking up her head just enough to peek over to the bed ]
It's not far. [ she's nuzzling against him though, greedy for the comfort he's offering, even if the whole experience of shifting back still has her weirdly shaken. like it's still surprising to her, still foreign. ] Just help me up. [ she's already moving, onto her knees, her hands reaching out for his arms, his shoulders, and okay maybe she should just wait and get up once she knows she can walk herself over to bed, but now all she wants to do is sleep. ]
[He shakes his head and pulls away from her-- but just for a moment! Just long enough that he can scoop her (with some effort; muscles weigh a lot) into his arms and bring her over to the bed. Gently he sets her down and then climbs in next to her, nuzzling against her.]
[ okay that makes her laugh, again, a tiny bit defeated because oh okay fine, carry her, she won't protest once it's happening. she groans softly as she stretched out next to him before curling up again, sore for multiple reasons now, though she's choosing to focus on the good ones ]
Remind me to shift before we decide to be a little rough next time. [ she makes another 'hnn' sound before tipping her head up to kiss his nose, lids heavy ] Let's sleep forever.
[He noses against her hair-- red, and it's weird that he thinks of that as right; it's not his Raven unless she's blue-- and then kisses the top of her head quite lovingly.]
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no subject
Do you want-- I mean, if you want me to be there, to hold you, or-- I mean, I get it if you want privacy, but--
[He finally yanks them up.]
It's easier for me to change when I've got Sirius and James there.
no subject
so when she turns around she just nods and takes a few steps closer to him, tears already welling up in her eyes because they hurt, they burn, and they start to change back to gold before the rest of her starts to shift. it's backwards than changing from blue to a shift, so it starts with her eyes, then her hair starts to turn dark, only that kind of hurts too, like someone's yanking the blonde away. she drops to her knees before the pain forces her too, whining louder than she would like to, but it's painful. pale skin starts to tear and peel away instead of fluttering, stretches and reshapes, darkens like a bruise until she's blue again. the worst of it, the part that makes her shout and bow her back, tight, bringing her closer to the floor, is the way her bones shift under her skin from her feet up and out into her hands, muscle and sinew realigning with it. like her body is a piece of machinery checking that all the gears are in place. it feels unnatural, and forced, and she's still not used to it. ]
no subject
[He drops to his knees with her, taking her shoulders gently. There's nothing he can do, not really, just like there's nothing James or Sirius can do-- but it helps to have someone even there, he remembers that, and so he keeps talking, trying to keep her distracted from her pain.]
It's all right, it's all right-- I'm here, darling, I'm right here, you're okay, you're going to be okay, I promise you--
no subject
and now all she wants to do is curl up right there on the floor, rest her head on his lap and not move for a while, but. no. the bed's right there. she can make it to the bed. ugh, shifting is exhausting. ]
S'done. [ right, should probably let him know she's not about to break out yelling again. she sits up, a little bit, enough to rest her cheek against his shoulder for a second, leaning on him for more than just the physical support ]
no subject
C'mere. Uncurl a little and I'll carry you to bed.
no subject
It's not far. [ she's nuzzling against him though, greedy for the comfort he's offering, even if the whole experience of shifting back still has her weirdly shaken. like it's still surprising to her, still foreign. ] Just help me up. [ she's already moving, onto her knees, her hands reaching out for his arms, his shoulders, and okay maybe she should just wait and get up once she knows she can walk herself over to bed, but now all she wants to do is sleep. ]
no subject
no subject
Remind me to shift before we decide to be a little rough next time. [ she makes another 'hnn' sound before tipping her head up to kiss his nose, lids heavy ] Let's sleep forever.
no subject
[He noses against her hair-- red, and it's weird that he thinks of that as right; it's not his Raven unless she's blue-- and then kisses the top of her head quite lovingly.]
Don't snore. Or kick. Or anything of the sort.
no subject
[ but she's curling up against him, face tucked against his chest, all very snuggly and comfortable. yep. mhm. bedtime. ]
Love you.