[ that... wasn't what she was expecting. her spoon slips a bit in her grip but she catches it without a spill, sans a drop of chocolate on her shirt, but it's not even real fabric so she doesn't take notice of it. at first she's just squinting at her sundae, then at him, then back down again. maybe she misheard him. no.
what? ]
I know he was torn away from his family when he was a boy, just because some guy wanted to use him for his abilities. That he's got a lot of anger he can't-- well, that he hadn't been able to rid himself of until he killed the man responsible. [ but that's not what he's talking about, she's sure. ] I know what he's capable of, yes.
[Every reaction is taken in, noted, and stored away to examine later. Obviously the idea itself isn't a shock. But he doesn't know if the story she's offering is the censored version or just the one that Erik himself gave her. The former is the one he's really hoping for though. It makes this entire conversation easier to deal with.]
So you know what he's done, but you're still sticking with him? [A careful pause.] It's not a mutant thing, is it?
What is this about, Wesley? [ she feels affronted, in a way, despite the fact that she's trying not to react so openly. it's impossible not to though, not when this feels too much like a lecture from her brother, too much like some backhanded question that's supposed to make her think and question herself. ]
You say mutant thing like there's anything else for me, for him. That's like... me asking if you caring about someone is real and thought-out, or just some human thing. [ her eyes squeeze shut, then her arms cross over her middle, shutting herself in. ] It's a trust thing. I know he'll always look out for me, and I owe him that much in return.
[There's a long pause, a shift in his seat, and he's finally back to openly watching Raven again. He hadn't really thought much about just how Raven would react to the conversation ahead of time. Instead, he'd been focused on the outcome; on whether or not she'd run once she knew the truth. But now, it's getting that much harder to believe she'll give him the time to explain. Not when she's already so on edge.]
Whatever you're thinking, it's not that. All I want to know is whether you'd still trust him if neither of you were mutants. Could you trust a killer?
Yea-- I. Yeah? Because that's not all he is. [ she's a little too focused now, thinking it's still about her and Erik. and she doesn't understand why it matters to him, why he cares. ]
If he treated me the same, if things played out the way they did at home and we... weren't mutants, if it were about something else, then yes I would still trust him. He's not just a killer, that's not all there is to him.
What if they didn't go the same way? What if you just met the guy, hung out with him a few times, and then you found out he's a killer?
[He has no idea how to make it any clearer than that, short of taking the leap himself and just seeing her reaction first hand. Given the fact that Raven is literally the only person on the ship that he actually gives a damn about though, he's still not entirely ready to take that risk yet.]
I would have gotten to know him while we hung out? That's what I mean, there's always something more to a person, not just killer. I guess? I know a lot of people here that have killed someone, in some capacity. And yeah it's scary, but it's not who they are.
[ Raven's starting to sound like a kid getting scolded, because that's exactly what she thinks this is. ]
Why does it matter to you? He's not going to try and kill you, or me. Or anybody. Besides, considering how creepy this ship has gotten lately, I actually-- It makes me feel a little safer, being with him. Like I know he's capable of keeping me safe, and that he'd do anything, could do anything to ensure that. And it's messed up, I know that, alright? I don't want him killing anyone, but at least I know that if this anonymous list thing turns out to be some crazy serial killer waiting to take us all out, Erik's going to be able to stop him. He won't think twice.
Yeah, Lehnsherr's a regular hero. [His tone is flat, almost unimpressed. But he can't help it. His own opinions of the guy are changing with each conversation the two of them have, and he's doing his best to keep outside opinions from affecting that. Even Raven's.
There's a long pause before he speaks again, rubbing at his face first. This isn't quite how he wanted to do it, but with the reminder of what's going on outside that door, he also just wants to get it out the way. Whether Raven accepts what he says or not, she's still going to be stuck with him trying to keep an eye out on her behalf.]
Sometimes a killer's a killer and nothing more.
[A shift, and he pulls his gun from the waistband of his pants, the ice cream being pushed aside and the weapon being dumped on the table instead.
[ two seconds before she was about to go into a full rant about what right he has for making comments about Erik, but now there's... a gun! right there on the table! they never had guns in the Xavier home, no need when Charles could just bend any mind that came through their front door. in fact, besides watching Charles and Erik train together out on the lawn from her bedroom window, this might have been the first time she's seen a gun up close and personal.
which is why she's sliding her chair back, standing up and taking a few steps back, thank you very much. ]
Gosh, why would you-?! You can't just do that! What if it... went of?! [ guns do that ok when you toss them around on tables all willy nilly they fire and kill everyone ] Have you used that before? Here? Or from home. [ rapidly putting the pieces together ] Is that what this is about? You've killed people too? Why in the world would you think this would be better than just telling me, oh my god I think I'm having a heart attack!
[He can't help it. His first reaction is to laugh, even as he reaches for the gun to slide the magazine free. Another few clicks and he pops the round in the chamber too, placing everything down and leaning back again. Once he sobers himself up again, he finally continues.]
This would be why we've been playing twenty questions. My job back home is to kill people. So believe me, I know what I'm doing.
[ Raven huffs, still more overwhelmed by the gun than by what he's saying, but eventually she's sitting again, her eyes on the disassembled weapon more often than it is on Wesley. ]
So, what, you're an assassin? People pay you to kill people for them? [ it doesn't seem real. like something out of a movie, and the kind of movie Raven never had very much interest in. but she doesn't sound skeptical, just- surprised. ] What am I supposed to do with this? Have you been killing people here? No. Because everyone would know it. So. [ thinking out loud, yes. ] I still stand by what I said about Erik, there's more to you than that. I mean, I'm glad you told me. I think. But. I don't think any different of you now, because of it. That's not who you are to me.
In order? Yes, I'm an assassin. No, I don't get paid to do this. No idea, but I'm hoping you stick around. And no, haven't touched a real person here.
[Yes, that was him marking those questions off with his fingers. He doesn't really care how many she fires at him though. Just as long as he gets this chance to explain. Of all the people on the ship, it's only Raven's opinion that actually seems t matter to him, though he has no fucking idea why.
Or rather, no idea he'd willingly admit to.]
I only ever killed the people fate wanted dead. Seeing as I can't get my orders here, I've got no one to shoot. [A shrug. But the truth is, even if the loom still somehow managed to arrive here, he doubts he'd ever manage to take that shot. He's still stuck trying to work out what he's meant to do next.] But that's still who I am. I'm a killer, and I enjoy it.
I dunno what to say, Wes. What does that even mean, fate? Does someone tell you who to kill? [ 'tell' is emphasized with a touch of her fingers to her temple, and a mild look of disbeluef, but considering what Charles can do? who knows. ] I don't-- I dunno! [ she laughs, nervous ] I'm sorry, I just. [ mooore laughing ]
Fate. Destiny. Whatever the fuck you want to call it. [He scrubs at his face, his eyes, scratching his hand through his hair. He's clearly not comfortable with talking about this part of it. Not while Sloan is still so fresh in his memory. The man may be dead now, but that doesn't mean he's forgotten.]
Does it really matter though? I killed the people I was told to. The end.
It matters. It matters a little bit, anyway. [ she sobers with that though, hands folded in her lap as she leans forward a bit. ]
Why are you telling me this? Why now? Are you trying to scare me? Because it's not going to work. [ she lifts her brows at him, 100% defiant teenager style, then sits back again. ] Your past doesn't matter to me, all that matters is what we have here, on the ship. And what we have here is... ice cream sundaes and shots of vodka in the kitchen and you being part of the reason why I'm not scared of who I really am anymore.
The last people I was close to are all dead now. [While it may have been Fox's bullet that killed the group he knew best, he knows that he was the catalyst behind it all. If he'd never entered the picture they'd all still be alive. Oblivious to Sloan's lie, but alive.]
This isn't about me trying to scare you off. [Though he knew it was an option going in to this.] This is about you knowing what you're getting in to if you stick around.
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no subject
what? ]
I know he was torn away from his family when he was a boy, just because some guy wanted to use him for his abilities. That he's got a lot of anger he can't-- well, that he hadn't been able to rid himself of until he killed the man responsible. [ but that's not what he's talking about, she's sure. ] I know what he's capable of, yes.
no subject
So you know what he's done, but you're still sticking with him? [A careful pause.] It's not a mutant thing, is it?
no subject
You say mutant thing like there's anything else for me, for him. That's like... me asking if you caring about someone is real and thought-out, or just some human thing. [ her eyes squeeze shut, then her arms cross over her middle, shutting herself in. ] It's a trust thing. I know he'll always look out for me, and I owe him that much in return.
no subject
Whatever you're thinking, it's not that. All I want to know is whether you'd still trust him if neither of you were mutants. Could you trust a killer?
no subject
If he treated me the same, if things played out the way they did at home and we... weren't mutants, if it were about something else, then yes I would still trust him. He's not just a killer, that's not all there is to him.
no subject
[He has no idea how to make it any clearer than that, short of taking the leap himself and just seeing her reaction first hand. Given the fact that Raven is literally the only person on the ship that he actually gives a damn about though, he's still not entirely ready to take that risk yet.]
no subject
[ Raven's starting to sound like a kid getting scolded, because that's exactly what she thinks this is. ]
Why does it matter to you? He's not going to try and kill you, or me. Or anybody. Besides, considering how creepy this ship has gotten lately, I actually-- It makes me feel a little safer, being with him. Like I know he's capable of keeping me safe, and that he'd do anything, could do anything to ensure that. And it's messed up, I know that, alright? I don't want him killing anyone, but at least I know that if this anonymous list thing turns out to be some crazy serial killer waiting to take us all out, Erik's going to be able to stop him. He won't think twice.
no subject
There's a long pause before he speaks again, rubbing at his face first. This isn't quite how he wanted to do it, but with the reminder of what's going on outside that door, he also just wants to get it out the way. Whether Raven accepts what he says or not, she's still going to be stuck with him trying to keep an eye out on her behalf.]
Sometimes a killer's a killer and nothing more.
[A shift, and he pulls his gun from the waistband of his pants, the ice cream being pushed aside and the weapon being dumped on the table instead.
Enjoy.]
no subject
[ two seconds before she was about to go into a full rant about what right he has for making comments about Erik, but now there's... a gun! right there on the table! they never had guns in the Xavier home, no need when Charles could just bend any mind that came through their front door. in fact, besides watching Charles and Erik train together out on the lawn from her bedroom window, this might have been the first time she's seen a gun up close and personal.
which is why she's sliding her chair back, standing up and taking a few steps back, thank you very much. ]
Gosh, why would you-?! You can't just do that! What if it... went of?! [ guns do that ok when you toss them around on tables all willy nilly they fire and kill everyone ] Have you used that before? Here? Or from home. [ rapidly putting the pieces together ] Is that what this is about? You've killed people too? Why in the world would you think this would be better than just telling me, oh my god I think I'm having a heart attack!
no subject
This would be why we've been playing twenty questions. My job back home is to kill people. So believe me, I know what I'm doing.
no subject
So, what, you're an assassin? People pay you to kill people for them? [ it doesn't seem real. like something out of a movie, and the kind of movie Raven never had very much interest in. but she doesn't sound skeptical, just- surprised. ] What am I supposed to do with this? Have you been killing people here? No. Because everyone would know it. So. [ thinking out loud, yes. ] I still stand by what I said about Erik, there's more to you than that. I mean, I'm glad you told me. I think. But. I don't think any different of you now, because of it. That's not who you are to me.
no subject
[Yes, that was him marking those questions off with his fingers. He doesn't really care how many she fires at him though. Just as long as he gets this chance to explain. Of all the people on the ship, it's only Raven's opinion that actually seems t matter to him, though he has no fucking idea why.
Or rather, no idea he'd willingly admit to.]
I only ever killed the people fate wanted dead. Seeing as I can't get my orders here, I've got no one to shoot. [A shrug. But the truth is, even if the loom still somehow managed to arrive here, he doubts he'd ever manage to take that shot. He's still stuck trying to work out what he's meant to do next.] But that's still who I am. I'm a killer, and I enjoy it.
no subject
I dunno what to say, Wes. What does that even mean, fate? Does someone tell you who to kill? [ 'tell' is emphasized with a touch of her fingers to her temple, and a mild look of disbeluef, but considering what Charles can do? who knows. ] I don't-- I dunno! [ she laughs, nervous ] I'm sorry, I just. [ mooore laughing ]
no subject
Does it really matter though? I killed the people I was told to. The end.
no subject
Why are you telling me this? Why now? Are you trying to scare me? Because it's not going to work. [ she lifts her brows at him, 100% defiant teenager style, then sits back again. ] Your past doesn't matter to me, all that matters is what we have here, on the ship. And what we have here is... ice cream sundaes and shots of vodka in the kitchen and you being part of the reason why I'm not scared of who I really am anymore.
no subject
This isn't about me trying to scare you off. [Though he knew it was an option going in to this.] This is about you knowing what you're getting in to if you stick around.