she could run. hell, she could sprint. and there's a short moment where she's kind of scrambling, but then she gets it in her head to be cool, be cool, so it takes her a few minutes before she's knocking on the door. her trying-not-to-smile-too-much face is ridiculous, but that's besides the point.
yeah she ran. he can tell by when the knock comes to the door, and he calls to give her access, leaning his hip against his desk with a smile that's a little too smug on his face]
[ oh good yes the door's open, sliding right in, hellohello. her nose scrunches up at that smile, but she won't tease him for it, nope, totally withholding any comments that aren't completely complimentary right now. it's not every day a girl gets a gift, especially here on the Tranquility, so she'll be nice. the nicest! ]
[he turns his attention away from her, nodding his chin toward the red dress on the bed]
This is a Starfleet uniform. The women who wear it have a sworn duty to the Federation and to their planet to advancements in cultural knowledge, science and technology, military defense and diplomacy. They're peacekeepers and explorers dedicated to the preservation of life.
[the play has left his voice, and it sounds like he's reciting pieces of something he's long since memorized.]
Of course Starfleet is a lot more than just that.
[his gaze comes back to her. he knows Magneto is back. he knows what that man's ideals are, what Alex had said about Raven, and what she'd admitted to doing herself in her own world. but he also knows the girl who had come for him when he'd lost his mind and tried to take the bridge. the girl who worked with Spock to preserve life. the girl who volunteered to feed the wraith. the girl who has worked her ass off to be able to fight, to be able to work technology far beyond her era.]
You told me once that you want to protect your friends. If you take this, I'm trusting you to follow my lead in keeping the people on this ship safe until I can get them home.
you know when you get it in your head that something might go a certain way, you sort of picture it over and over and then the moment comes and it's nothing like you imagined? ( not too unlike the time she kissed him. ) well now it's happening to her again, because there's this dress, but it isn't just a gift, it's not just a thank you or a way to help lift her mood, it means something. a huge something. she's caught thinking about Magneto too, Alex's warning about turning her back on who she's come to be ( who she's come to trust ) while here. the whole thing strikes her nerves like a match, takes away the playful energy of the moment for just a second. because wearing this would make her stance clear to anyone that knows Jim and his crew, knows of Starfleet. like wearing her true form at home, it would make her loyalties known, clear as day.
it makes her nervous, but not in a bad way at all, she realizes. in a weird way, her mindset here is very much like her mindset at home. she chose to leave with Erik knowing full well it wouldn't be the easy, cushy way. no more Xavier mansion, no more overflowing bank accounts, no more hiding. hiding was easy, hiding was looking right at what she believed in and turning away from it. this, here, was the same kind of thing. it was an outward sign of allegiance, something that couldn't be ignored. it was picking sides when most people tried not to acknowledge there were sides at all. and it was making a promise that no matter what kind of hell the ship put them through, she would try to be right in the thick of it, trying to help.
which, for her, is both exactly what she wants, and exactly the thing that kept her hiding behind Charles for the first decade of her life. wanting to be protected instead of protecting. but she's not that person anymore, so.
so. ]
Wow.
[ sigh Raven you're an idiot ]
Jim, I'd be honored to wear it. [ she laughs because she's a little bit breathless and she's just been standing there staring at a dress for a few seconds, has to cut the tension. ] Really, really honored. Wow. Jim. [ tiny bit overwhelmed oops. her hands move up to cover the lower half of her face, then she's nodnodnodding because those nerves are quickly sapped out of her system in favor of excitement again. it doesn't matter what anybody else thinks, what they'll say. she wants this, and she's excited for it. damnit. ] Thank you!
[Kirk releases tension in his shoulders that he hadn't realized had been there, it looses all the way down his spine, enough so that he even unfolds his arms.
he's not sure what it was. anxiety, maybe. that she would say no. that he was making a mistake in even thinking it. but jim doesn't do things that he thinks are a mistake; he looks like a wildcard, but he doesn't act without thinking. not when it's important, not when it effects the people around him.
[ ah, but not saying anything makes her feel fidgety, and she laughs, bright and a little bit ecstatic. then she's stepping in so she can throw her arms around his shoulders in the kind of hug that's just shy of crushingly tight, her face pressed against his shoulder like that hides the fact that she's smiling so much. it's easier to not let the moment weigh too heavily on her when she's looking behind him, it gives her a second to squash her excitement down to a normal level that isn't completely embarrassing. she can freak out in her room later on, in private. right. be cool. ]
I'm gonna try it on now.
[ whatever, that's cool, right? she pulls away and sort of vaguely gestures for him to turn around or something, but ( again, not so cool ) she's not actually wearing anything right now anyway, so stripping down isn't all that weird. the flight suit is just a shift, and in flutter she's in just her normal form, and a few seconds later she's pulling the dress up over her head, shimmying into it ( damn it's short, isn't it? for a second she's having that typical girly reaction of "does this fit right/am I too curvy/where's the mirror?", but instead of dwelling on it she steps back from the bed and holds her arms out a bit, turning in place until eventually she's looking at him again ]
How do I look, captain? Fit to serve and protect?
[ she's so nervous. why is she so nervous? she takes a deep breath, grins, and tries not to vocalize the running stream of 'I'll try my best to live up to your expectations' that's running through her head ]
[Kirk watches her shift because he'll never cease to be kind of taken with it. she makes it look flawless and kind of pretty, which he figures would probably be strange for most people. then again, everytime she does that he's reminded that she's never wearing any clothes and that isn't really something he needs to think about right now.
instead, he feels something in his chest clench up when she slides the dress on. seeing her wear it jars him, knowing what she's committing to, that she'd probably be able to be Starfleet if she'd been in his universe. but it also reminds him of home, of Uhura and of Gaila and of everything that was back there waiting for him. he can't tell if he's happy or if a hole has opened up somewhere in his stomach, threatening to swallow everything like a singularity.
[ it's true. putting on the dress felt like putting on the flight suit for the first time, because of all it meant. being a part of a team, having a purpose. using her ability to change things. the flight suit's meaning has been torn up at the seams since she found out what happened after they stopped Shaw, but this? this is everything. and she's blue, and Kirk, a human, is asking her to be a part of his team, in a way. and. it's a lot, it's all just very.. much. there's much muchness here. she's full of it.
she exhales hard when she feels her eyes starting to well up, and oh god she can't cry right now, that would be ridiculous. but she's still so overwhelmed. ]
Oh, wow. Okay.
[ she laughs, clears her throat, purses her lips for a second to try and save face, then ends up looking down for a moment anyway. ]
I should, um.
I should go- [ her hand lifts just to wave a bit, like it helps her think ] -do things. [ no she can't figure out why she feels like she has to hide this kind of reaction from him, which is making her feel even crazier ] There's probably stuff. To do.
[Jim straightens, steps away from the desk he'd been leaning on. he had things to do, too, and he was pretty sure he'd taken her away from something else before contacting her. that, and he's not really sure what he'd do if she started crying. when he smiles, his eyes crinkle.]
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she could run. hell, she could sprint. and there's a short moment where she's kind of scrambling, but then she gets it in her head to be cool, be cool, so it takes her a few minutes before she's knocking on the door. her trying-not-to-smile-too-much face is ridiculous, but that's besides the point.
knockknockknock ]
no subject
yeah she ran. he can tell by when the knock comes to the door, and he calls to give her access, leaning his hip against his desk with a smile that's a little too smug on his face]
no subject
Hi.
no subject
This is a Starfleet uniform. The women who wear it have a sworn duty to the Federation and to their planet to advancements in cultural knowledge, science and technology, military defense and diplomacy. They're peacekeepers and explorers dedicated to the preservation of life.
[the play has left his voice, and it sounds like he's reciting pieces of something he's long since memorized.]
Of course Starfleet is a lot more than just that.
[his gaze comes back to her. he knows Magneto is back. he knows what that man's ideals are, what Alex had said about Raven, and what she'd admitted to doing herself in her own world. but he also knows the girl who had come for him when he'd lost his mind and tried to take the bridge. the girl who worked with Spock to preserve life. the girl who volunteered to feed the wraith. the girl who has worked her ass off to be able to fight, to be able to work technology far beyond her era.]
You told me once that you want to protect your friends. If you take this, I'm trusting you to follow my lead in keeping the people on this ship safe until I can get them home.
no subject
you know when you get it in your head that something might go a certain way, you sort of picture it over and over and then the moment comes and it's nothing like you imagined? ( not too unlike the time she kissed him. ) well now it's happening to her again, because there's this dress, but it isn't just a gift, it's not just a thank you or a way to help lift her mood, it means something. a huge something. she's caught thinking about Magneto too, Alex's warning about turning her back on who she's come to be ( who she's come to trust ) while here. the whole thing strikes her nerves like a match, takes away the playful energy of the moment for just a second. because wearing this would make her stance clear to anyone that knows Jim and his crew, knows of Starfleet. like wearing her true form at home, it would make her loyalties known, clear as day.
it makes her nervous, but not in a bad way at all, she realizes. in a weird way, her mindset here is very much like her mindset at home. she chose to leave with Erik knowing full well it wouldn't be the easy, cushy way. no more Xavier mansion, no more overflowing bank accounts, no more hiding. hiding was easy, hiding was looking right at what she believed in and turning away from it. this, here, was the same kind of thing. it was an outward sign of allegiance, something that couldn't be ignored. it was picking sides when most people tried not to acknowledge there were sides at all. and it was making a promise that no matter what kind of hell the ship put them through, she would try to be right in the thick of it, trying to help.
which, for her, is both exactly what she wants, and exactly the thing that kept her hiding behind Charles for the first decade of her life. wanting to be protected instead of protecting. but she's not that person anymore, so.
so. ]
Wow.
[ sigh Raven you're an idiot ]
Jim, I'd be honored to wear it. [ she laughs because she's a little bit breathless and she's just been standing there staring at a dress for a few seconds, has to cut the tension. ] Really, really honored. Wow. Jim. [ tiny bit overwhelmed oops. her hands move up to cover the lower half of her face, then she's nodnodnodding because those nerves are quickly sapped out of her system in favor of excitement again. it doesn't matter what anybody else thinks, what they'll say. she wants this, and she's excited for it. damnit. ] Thank you!
no subject
he's not sure what it was. anxiety, maybe. that she would say no. that he was making a mistake in even thinking it. but jim doesn't do things that he thinks are a mistake; he looks like a wildcard, but he doesn't act without thinking. not when it's important, not when it effects the people around him.
he smiles but doesn't say anything.]
no subject
I'm gonna try it on now.
[ whatever, that's cool, right? she pulls away and sort of vaguely gestures for him to turn around or something, but ( again, not so cool ) she's not actually wearing anything right now anyway, so stripping down isn't all that weird. the flight suit is just a shift, and in flutter she's in just her normal form, and a few seconds later she's pulling the dress up over her head, shimmying into it ( damn it's short, isn't it? for a second she's having that typical girly reaction of "does this fit right/am I too curvy/where's the mirror?", but instead of dwelling on it she steps back from the bed and holds her arms out a bit, turning in place until eventually she's looking at him again ]
How do I look, captain? Fit to serve and protect?
[ she's so nervous. why is she so nervous? she takes a deep breath, grins, and tries not to vocalize the running stream of 'I'll try my best to live up to your expectations' that's running through her head ]
no subject
instead, he feels something in his chest clench up when she slides the dress on. seeing her wear it jars him, knowing what she's committing to, that she'd probably be able to be Starfleet if she'd been in his universe. but it also reminds him of home, of Uhura and of Gaila and of everything that was back there waiting for him. he can't tell if he's happy or if a hole has opened up somewhere in his stomach, threatening to swallow everything like a singularity.
so he smiles.]
You look great.
no subject
[ it's true. putting on the dress felt like putting on the flight suit for the first time, because of all it meant. being a part of a team, having a purpose. using her ability to change things. the flight suit's meaning has been torn up at the seams since she found out what happened after they stopped Shaw, but this? this is everything. and she's blue, and Kirk, a human, is asking her to be a part of his team, in a way. and. it's a lot, it's all just very.. much. there's much muchness here. she's full of it.
she exhales hard when she feels her eyes starting to well up, and oh god she can't cry right now, that would be ridiculous. but she's still so overwhelmed. ]
Oh, wow. Okay.
[ she laughs, clears her throat, purses her lips for a second to try and save face, then ends up looking down for a moment anyway. ]
I should, um.
I should go- [ her hand lifts just to wave a bit, like it helps her think ] -do things. [ no she can't figure out why she feels like she has to hide this kind of reaction from him, which is making her feel even crazier ] There's probably stuff. To do.
no subject
[Jim straightens, steps away from the desk he'd been leaning on. he had things to do, too, and he was pretty sure he'd taken her away from something else before contacting her. that, and he's not really sure what he'd do if she started crying. when he smiles, his eyes crinkle.]
I'll see you later then.